After experiencing countless meetings, meeting so many people in the Corporate world. Planning my entire day working and tiring myself trying to achieve financial success- everything started to lose meaning.
The daily traffic, the corporate meetings that seemed to last for an eternity- the never-ending creation of strategies of how to earn money- how to pay for the next expensive meal- how to make it seem that I know what I am doing with my life. But really I was a mess, the more I struggled to achieve success- the more elusive it became.
A 30-year-old Digital Marketing strategist like me, usually encounter sleepless nights, endless frustrations, and lack of direction despite working in a high powered job that should give given me peace of mind and satisfaction. The bitter truth is staring at me and I realized I was losing time- I had lesser and lesser time to come into terms with who I really want to be in life- as more meetings pile up, more start-ups, more CEO’s, more ego on the table and adjustments to consider I reached my threshold.
This was not my dream at all, this is the dream of someone else and I am just a pawn no matter what I do. I am just pawn, an extra in another person’s film- this is not me at all. Why was I doing all of these? Is this what I really wanted to do with my life? Attend so many empty meetings that did not meet the needs of my soul- what was I to do then next? Is my life measured by the number of material things I am able to purchase? Is my worth according to the number of expensive items I could buy?
Believing in the dreams of others, I put off getting married- and did not attempt to train and develop any of the skills that I wanted to improve. I was sucked in, creating and fulfilling the dream of another person for a few pesos- For a few pesos I sold my own time, own soul and own creativity- to something that does not even belong to me. As much as I hate the realization- I am just a tool, just as good as my next sale, just as good as my next million peso idea.
Is this fast paced life all there is, and why oh why are we so scared of stopping for a while. In stopping for a while do our lives become meaningless and is not participating with what the world considers to be a success- do we forfeit happiness.
Is reading a book in leisure a sin? Is doing nothing for a while a sin? If I say hi to a friend and spend some time asking how they are instead of bragging about my next achievement and next business plan do I become less of a person- where is my humanity in the process- who am I? And am I really worth nothing anymore If I stop for a while, if I put a stop to the endless searching for the next big Mobile Application, the next big idea that would change the world.
What if I did not want to change the world a bit, what if I just want to plunge in, embrace and inhale what the scenery has to offer before my time is up?
I kept asking myself if I also wanted to be a CEO if I was really destined to become the next Jack Ma, the next Elon Musk, the next Oprah Winfrey?
And how much was I willing to spend time on doing a dream that I think was projected to me on television and on social media-
Let us face it, not everyone should be a CEO, not everyone is destined to own the latest mobile app and not everyone would be happy spending their entire life building a new kind of business- there are some of us, that would delight in the quiet and simple life, with simple joys, longer time with family, some of us would feel more joy and fulfillment by being a good mother, some of us would find fulfillment in having a happy marriage with contented children. Some of us would love to be successful as a painter, or as a blogger- some of us would simply delight in planting crops, making soaps, doing art workshops- dancing- composing songs that would never become popular but so what?
Not everyone has to be fit in the mold of what success is right now- there is a danger in trying to be the next- in trying to fit into the molds and patterns of extremely wealthy people- and lose ourselves in the process. Our ego wants us to be everything all at once but in attempting to be everything we lose sight of the really important things in life- and that is to live- really live- without time constraints and the eternal struggle. Life is joyful why do we always make life events masochistic, painful- why does it always have to be a struggle instead of a gift.
I read an article that stated that Jack Ma did express that he was happier earning $12 as a teacher, now he has so much more responsibilities and duties to the world, more and more companies to acquire- not everyone has to be the next Jack Ma. Jack Ma is Jack Ma, but it does not mean that we are not entitled to a great and most fulfilling life. I might not be Jack Ma, but I have time to enjoy staring at the clouds, sipping my coffee, I have time to walk in the beach, hug my family- and while I might not rule the world and make the biggest decisions I find fulfillment in who I am, in my own truths and in my own life.