Regular days go through with endless meetings, that is how my life is right now. Endless coffee meetings, possibilities, talk of ROI, meeting the right business partners and getting funded. It is starting to become a familiar routine and despite excelling in business talks, finding the right people and earning- finally earning- the feeling of restlessness has never been worse. What now?
This form of restlessness is not something that can be cured by simply stopping all kinds of work to hang out with friends and drink booze. The question is harder and harder to face- the adventure is getting slow. I think of the rain as I talk to other people. I dream of the rain- there must be something more than this.
Are you one of those people who at times, wished that the Aliens would just be sprung out and say hello to humans, or at one point in your life did you want Angels to miraculously appear and just talk to you or stop time and show you manifestations of their existence so everything that you need to understand in the physical sense can be broken- I sometimes feel like we are in a wall- that there is a big barrier, and that this could not be it. Because if this was it, then life is easy. And since life is easy, it is all just a game, and we can finally rest and just do nothing, for today and tomorrow is meant to be experienced.
Imagine if you are a SIMS character or a character in a video game and you suddenly reached the end of the game and began to question if you are a mere character someone is playing and you wanted to be more. I know it does not make any sense to a lot of people, but I know a lot of people have at some point asked these questions and to some who never did and who never will- a great pity- or maybe I should pity myself- I woke up early in the Matrix but could not find the door to exit just yet but why.
I remember NAS Daily saying something about him not living his life fully, so he dropped out of his Corporate job and just started filming other people’s lives for 1 minute. I keep telling myself I should do the same, my life should not be lived in a box, within the expectations of other people and the physical world. There are so many stories I have still yet to learn- this isn’t it just yet- I should move on and travel more, and do more and change the flask where I am in- just like liquid I should be able to mold myself into another container and see what it feels like to be in another world- in another dimension.