So here I am at 30, having experienced a series of ups and downs in the Corporate world, I can now safely say that what I want for myself is a pretty average life. A simple life, more time for myself and less hustle. Yes. Less. Because after more than 6 years of trying to prove that I want to be someone- after toppling down so many competitors, enemies, gaining influence, knowing multi-millionaires- I ended up realizing, why certain people would be so much happier sitting on a farm, in the middle of nowhere singing to themselves while looking at the clouds.
Don’t get me wrong, I still work and I am still a responsible being, who tries to solve everyday problems no matter how complex they may be. I just began to realize that being on the top is not everything, and being Special, while the rest of the world is trying to be Special could be the most draining and selfish thing you can do to yourself. On the way to the top, well- the so-called top, you meet so many fierce competition, because someone has to sit in that one chair no matter what- but that chair, that high profile chair is just one of the many illusions in life. No thank you, I for the first time in my life, admit to myself that living the simple life would make me happy- well happier.
Being a PR strategist is tough, you constantly need to fight for your territory, just imagine being inside a Game of Thrones story and being one of the characters- either you become Cersei, or you get your head cut off, but what if I totally don’t want to be on any side- what if I want to sing in my own tune, in my game and to not prove myself to constantly- because it is draining. Because it simply is not me, and whatever illusion this whole entire marketing, hustle, business, being on top thing tries to sell you- this isn’t it.
My friend and I were talking about how lovely it would be to stare at the stars for a much longer time. To listen to the rain and to sleep for as long as you want, how did life become so hectic- who am I kidding? My heart is simple, my goals are simple.
Do I need to be the next big CEO, with the largest bank account? Definitely not. And the earlier I have realized that the better life decisions I will make in life because my ambition and greediness would no longer get the best of me. I would finally be able to discern which activities truly enrich my soul and which are the ones that matter more to me – and surprisingly worry about money is the least of my concerns, because in choosing to be average- I choose to have faith in life and less resistance plus more belief that everything has its grand design.I don’t need to hustle I just need to let it be.- so I can find the real me, amidst the haystack of people wanting to be special.
And this is me admitting that yes I want the peaceful, average life. A quiet writing job, time for myself, time to learn a new cuisine to cook- time to travel in the mountains. Why was I able to do all of these things when I was younger and still thrive, what has gotten into me that made me think that living in a complex jungle would make me happy- Am I more successful than 5 years ago? Maybe, but then the goal is to live Spiritually- I want to have more time to meditate, more time to feel the earth on my skin, more time to laugh with children and not scold them because I need to finish a lot of paperwork by tomorrow and finally- hope that my writing job pays enough- so that I no longer need to have an online persona for selling or marketing anything- it would feel terribly awesome to live a Classified, quiet life in perspective.
This is me realizing I want more time, time to drink water, time to sip coffee, time to walk around the park- time to chat with friends, time to learn how to knit- to sing and dance in the rain, to meet someone who does not care about the hustle, to talk about Angels- to talk about life– to just generally love life and see it for what it is, because my body is growing older by the day- and all I really want it to live- to live.
This is me letting go of the competition and being just ” me”, feeling the inspiration of just being allowed to breathe again, while I do all these- in a few months time, I hope to win my freedom, to live, to write- as in every writer’s dream– to allow writing to sustain me for the rest of my life- no hustle, just writing, just living– just breathing–just being average.