Activating Joy and Gratitude Amidst the Sea of Confusion

Waking Moments

Waking up to a cloudy mess and pulsating heart might be something you can also relate with- the art of waking up and convincing yourself to still go out there even if you are a sweaty mess is something most of us have to go through no matter what age we are.

Daydreaming and half asleep, I catch the specks of dust that silently drift around the room, and bask in the moment of my half asleep consciousness. I am fully aware that I am a human being lying in bed, who has stuff to do, and yet I am also content to just exist as a conscious entity that thinks about stuff-aware that I am here, thriving, breathing while doing nothing. Aren’t we just a lost and floating being, living in diverse dimensions?

My mind churns with the recent events and floods of emotions over the recent weeks:

How does one find the source of inspiration to inspire my brain to launch my daily mission, where do I pick up the inspiration to continue what I am working on?

Internal thoughts in my head…

Wondering if I’ll ever fall in love again. Pretty much falling in love with everyone
Spending 4 hours with my neighbour with terminal cancer I may never see again. Hearing his amazing stories and becoming humbled by his clear sense of what’s important from his unique, yet sad perspective.
Catching up with friends who know me, taking joy in what they are achieving, delighting in the stories I have to tell them. Worrying about the problems some of them have with mental health. Worrying about my friends caught in issues in Hong Kong, Worrying about our own issues with Brexit and the just general world seemingly going mental.
Making new friends and joining them on their journey. Sparking ideas for projects to make a better world. Taking energy and inspiration to just be a kinder and more useful human.
Being given a taste of just how good my life could be here, the fun I could be having and the opportunities that are so abundant. Yet I am being sent back to my problems and challenges. After the comfort of having people around me that are so supportive a harsh reminder that ultimately I am alone on this world

Everyday is about managing to convince our subliminal mind to continue, to push on despite the confusion- even though we don’t have physical reasons to go on, we must because of the simple fact that we are still conscious.

Run to Reframe

My genius plan of leaping out of bed embodies itself in a much less impressive reality of blearily bumbling around for 30 minutes. I eventually find myself running by the canal in the shining sun and cool air. My feet pounding along as my brain unwinds with pleasant bemusement at the rest of the world, the people around me and I why I take anything seriously.

The Science of Hangover Exercise

The perfect hangover remedy does not exist yet. No food nor medication can really eradicate the perfect hangover once it gets to you. The only thing you can do with the situation is to exercise and walk your way to perhaps a windy day so you can experience something profound. Brisk walking and jogging is the perfect way to reduce the hangover symptoms and reduce the toxins inside your body. Exercise helps release endorphins and gives you an exercise high. When you reach this state, your emotions run high and you go to higher levels which is awesome. For a brief moment, your self pity and doubt ebbs away, and you don’t feel as basic anymore. For a few moments, you experience a beautiful world and it morphs you- you go into the process of metamorphosis. Like a shit caterpillar that decides to graduate and blossom into a beautiful butterfly- a positive you is born. And all your ideas suddenly make sense again. And that you know success is inevitable.

Reframe Your Problems and Turn them into Opportunities

Your sadness and regrets is a necessary part of life, and you need to learn to leave it behind. You need to challenge yourself and deal with it.

The first time I started my podcast, it felt as though no one would really listen.It also took a lot of time to get my first podcast guest. Also, starting the podcast enabled me to exist outside of myself. It convinced me to step out of the bubble of my own reality and connect to a wider, diverse group of people. And while, yes there are many setbacks that have happened along the way, and there are some ambitious ideas that I won’t be able to do just yet- I am positive because I am slowly finding clarity in the everyday things that I am doing. What I try to do instead is prolong the hours and feelings of gratitude. The times where I get a half decent sleep. When I see something that captivates me for a few seconds during my travelling days- there are ruined days and days where my creativity is at an all time low, but I understand now that these are just phases in life and that the feelings of getting stuck won’t last forever.

I just have my shower, pack my things in a neat small backpack. Minimalist lifestyle, and select things that I have control of. There is this new sense of adventure, this vigour that I can still explore the world and that there are still so many things waiting for me.

Shocking Insights

The day is turning into a warm celebration of the British summer. The flats all have their windows open as the nation greets the day and invites the fresh air into their abodes. I am a great lover of the human condition. What goes on in people’s lives and minds is a source of endless curiosity. I have always enjoyed catching odd snatches of private conversation as you walk past people. I hardly spy on anyone but it’s not like you can’t hear what people say as they walk past.

The next moment was an especially unique and perfect insight into someone else life. It came from a first-floor window instead of some people on the street. A most private transfer of thoughts from one lover to another that certainly wasn’t meant for my ears.

My thoughts were pierced by a cockney lady screaming in shock.

“Aaargghhhh!!” pause for breaths, “Wash your dirty cock you bastard!!”

I carried on walking with a deep sense of confusion as to how my day could have been interrupted with this. I mean one just doesn’t expect that when walking to the train. Like finding a sheep’s eyeball in your vegan froyo. It’s just in the complete wrong place and kind of disgusting. You genuinely WTF if this is real life for a moment and look for other humans to confirm reality.

Adjusting to this Insight

My mind can only wonder about the likelihood that I happened to be walking past their window at the exact moment this happened. An extra ten seconds day-dreaming before getting out of bed. Or 20 seconds more delicately teasing the shower into a state of not boiling and yet not freezing. Not taking a few wrong turnings on my run. And that’s just my perspective. Anything could have gone differently in their day and I wouldn’t have caught it. For starters, the guilty gentleman could have gone for a shower and washed his distasteful penis…

My mind can also only wonder at the exact scenario going on in that room. But what is a mind for other than wondering anyway?

After recovering from my confused shock it became a source of delightful contemplation and gratitude for my life as it is.

Simple Gratitude

I thought I was smug earlier with my run. I was winning compared to trying to make myself feel better with a bacon sandwich and paracetamol. But the thought of waking up to the taste of a dirty cock makes anyone want to vomit. It’s not good practice to “compare yourself” to others. However, I can’t help taking immense pleasure in the fact that right now I am unfathomable leagues of luckiness ahead of this poor soul.

I have many problems and frustrations to deal with over the next month. In the context of my life, they seem quite serious and important, like they might make or break me. But in reality, it is all quite fine. I won’t ever need to scrub the taste of dick cheese out of my mouth and memory. No amount of Listerine could purge that from your soul.

There are so many things in life to be grateful for. It’s easy to miss them.

Cultivating More Gratitude

When you’re feeling down it can be hard to think about how lucky you are. But in reality, the only real problem you have is the fact that you aren’t thinking positively. Cultivating a logical approach to get out of depression does not happen with the flick of a switch.

It takes practice and guidance to genuinely examine your problems and treat them as a philosophical puzzle. With enough logical thought, you can always find something to be grateful about. There is always a way to explain your problems in a positive light.

If you liked this you might like some of my other blogs:

The Lost Art of Listening to Yourself – If I’d had my headphones in this blog would never have happened
50 Shades of WTF – What we can learn about love from 50 Shades of Grey and my general sexual failures