Falling out of love with your wife happens and it could become tempting to look the other way. The endless stress, bills, and daily responsibilities, constant bickering at home, or if you both simply became too busy to have time for each other can cause loving feelings to subside leading to the destruction of your marriage-
At times, one is tempted to believe that a new woman can fill up the missing piece, but without contentment, appreciation, and satisfaction- relationships will only become an endless pit of frustration and betrayal.
The solution is not finding another woman to bring you comfort. Adultery and trying to find happiness in the presence of another woman is a great sin in the eyes of the Lord Jesus Christ. Not only that, once the attraction wears off, you will also realize that the same cycle of bickering and losing feelings for a mistress will happen too. Happiness is not found outside the marriage, it is about learning how to make it work.
He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself.Proverbs 6:32
Learn how to fall in love again- to see your wife with new eyes.
1. Pray for Wisdom
Humans do not fully understand why trials arrive in their life. The best thing to do when you think your marriage is falling apart is to ask the Lord Jesus Christ for wisdom. When King Solomon became king he didn’t immediately understand how to rule a kingdom, how to manage the economy wisely, or to treat his subjects. This is why the first thing King Solomon asked the Lord is wisdom. Pray silently and fervently for wisdom so the Holy Spirit will send you assistance, the right kind of mindset that would allow you to improve your marriage and how to love your wife.
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you–James 1:5
2. Take the 1-Day No Judgement Challenge
Harshly spoken words and criticisms that are uncalled for can break a marriage easily. The habit of criticizing your partner constantly is toxic to any relationship. No one can happily survive inside a marriage if they feel more judged rather than appreciated. Take the 1-day a week no criticism challenge and see the positive feelings grow in your marriage. Stop the need to always talk about your partner’s fault. Less talk, fewer mistakes. There are better ways to communicate, say for example holding your wife’s hands or giving them a sincere hug when you go home.
3. Do Something Active
Staying active and doing something that will build feelings of togetherness is highly recommended. Do something physical, do brisk walking together, learn how to play a new sport together like badminton or golf. You can decide to go to the gym together or to sign up for dancing lessons together. Try walking together after dinner, or have peaceful walks after Church. It is a relationship rejuvenator. Put down the newspaper or turn off the computer, and say, “Why don’t we go for a walk and talk? I would love to hear about your day.”
4. Be Mr. Kindness
Being polite, helping your wife do chores, or making the tone of your voice calm and sweet can do wonders. While giving gifts, expensive vacations are good, you don’t always have to do this if you know how to communicate with your wife effectively. Just being thoughtful, remembering her birthday, or volunteering to help her in any way you can help improve the relationship and reduces big fights. Make it a point to reach across the front seat of the car when you drive and hold her hand, it will mean the world to her.
5. Pray Together
Be the one to initiate a prayer together with your wife. This is the best Spiritual discipline. God will provide blanket protection for you and your family. Married people will have troubled times, but if you begin and end the day with a prayer it becomes easier to tackle. Pray with her, learn about her worries, fear, and challenges, and ask in prayer that both you and the children would be able to withstand the daily pressures life.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.”Ephesians 5:25 (NKJV):
6. Don’t flirt with other women on social media
Social media offers many traps and temptations, you can easily see other women posting nude photos. A casual chat that might seem harmless to your marriage at first, could progress into a dangerous and adulterous relationship. Make it a point to avoid using social media to seek validation and confirmation from other women. Learn to be satisfied, instead of flirting with other women on social media, pamper your wife for a day or two at the spa, and see her glow and shine with gratitude and happiness.
7. Learn How Other People Made their Marriage Work
While people lead different lives, and our situation is unique. We can learn a thing or two from people who have gone through tough and immense challenges with their marriage.
Award-Winning Author, Singer and Film Producer Lourdes Duque Baron and Dr. Robinson V. Baron is an example of a power couple who were able to succeed in saving their marriage.
“I thought long and hard about writing this book. I’ve had so many sleepless nights tackling if revealing my dark past was the right thing to do for myself and my family. It was a time whereas both my husband and I were spiraling out of control. Then I thought, this memoir is a chance for me to show that we are not perfect, we all make mistakes. In the end, my intention is to prove true loves conquers all, but only if both forgive in the same way God forgives, and that he forgets, even our darkest hours.”Lourdes Duque Baron
I Called Myself Cassandra
With his confession, I realized Robin was torn and left ripped apart by two lovers who demanded from him two completely different things. One wanted to start a new family, while the other wanted him to stick around for her aging, maturing, and now trifling self. Verna gave him a fresh opportunity, while the only thing I had to offer was to grow old together in our not-so golden years, which could very well become eclipsed by our darkest times apart. The promise I was willing to see through with him, no matter the bumps and bruises it has caused us, was companionship, continuing what we started ages ago. As young lovers, we once vowed to each other that our love would survive the test of time. However, Verna’s newer promise of a more youthful life seemed to be more riveting to him.https://www.amazon.com/Called-Myself-Cassandra-Lourdes-Duque-ebook/dp/B075MRL2PJ
I Called Myself Cassandra is about Learning the Art of Forgiveness. Follow the Real-Life Story of Lourdes Duque Baron and Dr. Robinson Baron and how they both overcame the lust and temptations that attacked their marriage.
“A husband and wife may disagree on many things but they must absolutely agree on this: to never, ever give up.”